Sports Illustraded Article on Pitino and Calipari

In the spring of 1988, during his first season coaching the New York Knicks, Rick Pitino made an emergency trip to his alma mater, the University of Massachusetts. Pitino was on the search committee for a new UMass basketball coach, and he'd learned that athletic director Frank McInerney had soured at the last minute on the consensus choice—a 29-year-old Pittsburgh assistant named John Calipari—after hearing concerns about Calipari from a prominent coach. "Look, people have enemies in this game," Pitino says he told the AD. "You can't change your mind because one coach calls and says these things. That means he's worried. If he's worried about this guy, then that's a good thing."


http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1162965/1/index.htm

Texas School System Hates Emo Kids

MYFOXNY.COM - 7th Grader Seth Chamlee was sent home from school because school administrators thought his pants were too tight.
Chamlee was wearing a new style of pants nicknamed "skinny" pants that are popular with kids.
He says he was excited to wear them for the first time to Kimbrough Middle School in Mesquite, Texas.
The school doesn't require uniforms but has a standard dress policty.
Chamlee says that as he walked in his first period class, the teacher stopped him. Chamlee says he was told that his pants were too tight and his pockets were bulging.
District officials say the pants didn't meet a guideline that says clothing must be appropriately sized. They say when he was sitting, Chamlee's pants were disruptive.
Chamlee's mother thinks it was silly to send her son home and is fighting to allow him to wear the pants.

This is why I wish I were from Texas. This principal just dominated the shit out of this emo-kid. Did you see those pants?? Yeah they were skinny, but not that bad. Kid was probably just weird and shit and nobody wanted him around anymore. I'd do the same thing. Can you imagine a school that only has cool kids because the principal kicked out all of the hippies? It'd be great.

It probably taught ol' Seth Chamlee an important lesson, too. He found himself in his skinny ass jeans listening to his Coldplay-filled iPod, and the only kids around to hang out with are Spanish speaking, illegal immigrants, while all of the cool, normal kids are inside the school having sex and smoking cigs in the bathroom. Straighten up and wear normal shit, kid, then maybe people will like you.

Filly Of The Day (update)

As I promised a not too long ago, starting next week, a new correspondent of the Fix will be bringing you our 'Filly Of The Day' every Tuesday and Thursday which will feature pictures of hot college co-eds from around the Commonwealth of Kentucky. We will be searching for the best looking girls from Hendo to Hazard, Somerset to Peewee Valley, and everywhere inbetween, if we happen to miss one that you think is worthy, send photos to thepecker.fix@gmail.com.

Stick around and you're welcome.

Happy Thirsty Thursday!

Hello, all. As you know it's Thursday so don't forget to set your fantasy line-ups as the Dolphins play the Panthers tonight (start Ricky Williams) and the Kentucky Wildcats play the Sam Donaldson State Sub-Terranians in basketball.
I'm not sure if you remember how much I said I enjoy videos with Asian kids rapping, but I don't enjoy them nearly as much as I enjoy Asian kids setting themselves on fire and getting their nuts stomped on at the same time. I'm gonna figure out a way to rig up my alarm clock and computer so that every morning I wake up to this video, I'd be happy as shit I tell ya.

Bringin' down the House

We have the question, now we need the Answer.



Yesterday the Memphis Grizzlies and 10-time NBA All-Star, and former NBA MVP, Allen “The Answer” Iverson mutually agreed to part ways after a lustrous 3 games. Iverson was not content to come off the bench and left the team last week due to “personal issues”. Then yesterday it was announced that Iverson’s contract would be terminated. The Answer is free to sign with any team, any team that wants him that is.
This could go down as one of the dumbest free agent signings of all-time. Iverson was a terrible fit on the team. This summer I ran into Clippers President Andy Roeser and I ask him about the rumors about A.I. being a Clipper. Roeser told me that there was no way Iverson would be on that team. If the Clippers won’t sign you then you know you are in trouble. So what did Iverson do? He signed with a team that is WORSE THEN THE CLIPPERS! I can see the logic in owner Michael Heisley’s thought that bringing in Iverson would be the Answer to the team’s dwindling attendance. That’s fine, but Allen Iverson today will not sell-out FedEx Forum like the Allen Iverson of five seasons ago.
Heisley made a grave error; he thought the people of Memphis would turn out to watch an All-Star team of selfish players because of the names, not the product. Iverson said after he was signed he had no problem coming off the bench if that is what it would take to win. After the first game he was telling the media that his “butt was tired from sitting”. Great way to start out on the new team and it was all down hill after that. Well in the three games there was never a sell-out and the Iverson Era ends before it began.
Now the guessing game begins; where will A.I. end up? I’m going to look at the three places I think are logical.
Cleveland Cavaliers- the Cavs could use another scorer and a veteran guard. This is the perfect spot for Iverson in my opinion. He would have a chance to get that ring that he covets, and with LeBron and Shaq already there Iverson would accept coming off the bench, I think.
Charlotte Bobcats- Iverson has had his most success and enjoyed playing for Larry Brown. Here he would start and could play 35 plus minutes and take as many shots as he could. But the probability got a lot smaller with the trade for Stephen Jackson. They might get in a fist fight on the court because they both haven’t seen a shot they didn’t like.
New York Knicks- This is the place it looks like Iverson will finish up this season at. Iverson loves New York and loves playing in the Garden. New York fans also love A.I. and would turn out to watch him play 40 minutes a night and jack up as many shot as he could. Mike D’Antoni would love to have him, and Iverson would quickly adapt to his run-n-gun style. The biggest reason to sign Iverson though lies in the fact that Iverson’s agent is Leon Rose, the agent of LeBron James. If New York wants James they would be wise to make Rose happy by signing his other marquee player.

When Allen Iverson’s career is all said and done he will be in the Hall-of-Fame with out a doubt. He is one of the 50 greatest players of all time, but he is a player who is very selfish and doesn’t seem to get the concept that you will as a team. Hence the reason Iverson has all the accolades a player could dream of but no ring. It’s a shame that is the way he career may end up as, but that is the question that was posed, and he gave us the Answer.

-SJH

Who Would You Rather Bone?

-OR-

I never said they were gonna be easy, folks... Personally, I think Toilet Girl has some moves once she finally gets up, but Ms. New Booty has the voice of a fuckin' angel. I'll take Ms. New Booty eight days a week, fa show!

PS. I'd wear the shit out of that Pooh Bear shirt she is sporting, I'm just sayin'.

Who ya got??

This Ninja Doesn't Roll Hard, Not Even A Little Bit

SEATTLE — Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.
An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.
Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.
Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
His name was not released.

These cops are stupid as shit. They really believe this story? I mean come on, the guy obviously wasn't a fucking ninja. First of all ninjas do not scream under any circumstances. Also, when was the last time you ever saw a ninja not be able to clear a fence or burning building over 4 ft tall? That's right, you haven't!
I studied ninjas for quite some time and here are 4 fun facts that I learned:

1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
4. A ninja shall never scream. EVER. (it gives away they're location)

They need to track down this so-called ninja and ask some more questions, cause there is definitely something fishy going on. I had a buddy in college impale himself through his armpit after jumping a fence trying to get out of the pool area of our apartment complex because he wasn't supposed to be in there during after-hours, he wasn't a ninja and never claimed to be. He was doing something illegal and so was this guy. Fess up you ninja-wannabe-motherfucker.

Hendo Area News- The Gleaner

A 25-year-old Evansville man was arrested Wednesday when he stepped out of a South Side barbershop to conduct an apparent drug deal, police said.
Marcus T. Bailey, 25, was actually being sought on a parole warrant when authorities arrived at 952 Washington Avenue and found him in a car with two other people and about 21 grams of crack cocaine, said Evansville Police Department Spokesman Steve Green. Bailey was apparently having his hair braided inside when he stepped out, Green said.

This seems like it would be fucking drug dealing 101.. I've never smoked or sold crack cocaine if my memory serves me correctly, but I know that if I did I would never stop in the middle of my corn rolling session to sell some asshole 21 grams of crack. What ever happened to having a little bit of patience in the dope game?? I still remember some my college buddies sitting on the couch waiting for up to 12 hours or so before the dopeman finally came over to sell them a 20 bag of pot. They didn't get mad, they understood that he is not a carpet cleaning service or a pizza boy, he sells dope, he obviously does whatever the fuck he wants. Anyway.. I think we need to freshen up on our Eleven Crack Commandments from the Notorious BIG:

1. Never let no one know how much dough you hold.
2. Never let 'em know your next move.
3. Never trust nobody.
4. Never get high, on your own supply.
5. Never sell no crack where you rest at.
6. That God damn credit, dead it.
7. Keep your family and business completely separated.
8. Never keep no weight on you.
9. If you ain’t gettin' bags stay the fuck from police.
10. A strong word called consignment,If you ain’t got the clientele say hell no.
11. Never leave in the middle of a hair appointment to go out to the car to sell some crack to three assholes with no patience, you'll always get busted by the police and look like a retard in your mugshot.

Lesson learned, Marcus T. Bailey.

Hump Day Porn Star of the Week

Yeah I could've gotten a little more creative on Hump Day, but I saw Jenna on Oprah (I swear to God I don't watch it often) in the lounge as I was leaving work and guys would walk in and say, "dang who is that?" Don't play stupid with me assholes, you know exactly who that is and if you really don't know who she is then you are either gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) or you were a pussbag growing up and too afraid to search for porn on your parents computer. Even though she is a porn star you gotta give Jenna a little respect, she became a multi-millionaire via her vagina... last thing Captain Clown Dog (that's what I call mine) got me was a slap in the face and a $30 cab fare home.

Jenna- 1 The Pecker- 0

Anyway, not really sure what you should expect today.. maybe something good, maybe not. I heard after Third Lew's post from yesterday about LSD and baseball it inspired the Founding Fixers back in Lexington to start production of a documentary about MayDay playing an entire flag football season on peyote. Can't wait for that one to hit the shelves.


Epic Seesaw Flip and Failure - Watch more Funny Videos

Seesaw- 1 Dickheads- 0

Mini-doc on Dock Ellis' No-Hitter in 1970 against the Padres while on LSD

Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No from NoMasTV

I'm in Lexington Bitch

If this didn't jack you up for the college hoops season, you're just dumb, or were just too drunk to remember. Drunk, or fucked up on whatever these guys are on. Seriously. It looks like they are miles from any nearby stage and they don't seem to care. Please isolate them on their own island of air drum dancing and the sidekicks that roll with them. Go smoke a doob, its not as weird.

Future Hard Rollers?

(HealthDay News) -- Children who are fearless at 3 years of age might just be poised for a life of crime.
According to a new study, poor fear conditioning at the tender age of 3 can predispose that person to break the law as an adult. Yet other factors, such as education of the parents, large family size, nutrition, physical activity, configuration of the household and other elements also play a role, the researchers concluded.
"There's no 100 percent correspondence between conditioning deficits and crime: Not all poor conditioners will become criminals and not all criminals have the early fear conditioning deficits," explained study author Yu Gao, a research associate in the department of criminology at the University of Pennsylvania. His findings are published in the Nov. 16 online issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry.
Specifically, what Gao and his associates set out to determine is whether dysfunction of the amygdala, an almond-shaped mass that resides deep in the human brain and is linked to fear conditioning as well as emotions and mental state, leads to an inherent intrepidness and disregard for the law.

Listen here, babies. I don't know what kinda shit you are trying to pull, but it takes a lot more than some 20 year study to be mentioned on the Fix. You think you can just tip-toe up into this humpy bumpy? Fuck no. Come hard or don't come at all. Oh, you've got a scientist predicting that by the time you are 16 years old you will be throwing old women out of windows and lighting dog shit on fire then throwing it at police cars? Well that's not impressive at all, baby, I was doing the same shit by the ripe age of 9.

You want science and a hypothesis and all of that shit... here ya go.

Pecker the Scientist predicts that if a baby comes around me or sends me anymore emails about Rolling Hard and/or breakin' shit without any street cred will be smacked right across the mouth and sent home crying. There's your hypothesis, baby.