The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show and The Pecker: A Brief Demonstration

Who Would You Rather Bone? (VSFS 2009 Edition)

Keeping it up-to-date, folks..

-OR-

I don't know the names but I'll make it easy on you. simply vote for #1 or #2.

Pecker is going with #1. And I would make her keep every piece of her outfit on, other than whatever is covering her billibongs!

Edited: Does The Guy Who Robbed A Wendy's With A Sawed-Off Shotgun While His Mom Was Working Roll Hard?

portfolioweekly.com- Michigan police said a Wendy’s restaurant manager turned a would-be thief in when she realized it was her own son who was trying to rob the place. Police said 27-year-old Jason Zacchi is accused of going through the drive-through Saturday night at the restaurant on Telegraph and Van Born roads with a sawed off shot gun. Wearing a blue bandanna over his face, police said Zacchi threatened workers and demanded money.“The robber had a bandanna covering his face. He threatened one employee, and reached in and started hitting the screens to open up the register,” said Dearborn Heights police Detective Sgt. Stephen Gurka.Police said the restaurant’s manager heard the commotion and came out to see what was going on.“The manager proceeded to walk over and shouted, ‘What the hell are you doing?’” Gurka said.Gurka said the manager recognized the face under the bandanna as her son’s and helped police arrest him.Zacchi’s 22-year-old girlfriend, Amanda Lee Yost, is also accused of being the driver of the getaway car. Through tears in court Monday, she told the judge she wanted to be released to see her three children -- 18-month-old twins and a 2-year-old.The two were arraigned Monday. The judge set Zacchi’s bond at $100,000 and Yost’s at $50,000.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times.. If you are going to knock off a fast food joint please make sure no family members are working at the time of the robbery. They'll point you out every time, because if they don't it will make them look like an accomplice so they really have no other choice. The whole mom thing I'm not really worried about, though. Sometimes kids grow up to hate their mothers. (see: Erik and Lyle Menendez)

What really bothers me is this, why in the hell would you rob a Wendy's.. of course you are going to been seen by someone who knows you! Every god damn person I know goes to Wendy's at some point during the day. You know why... cause its fucking delicious. Wendy's is by far the best fast food restaurant in the United States. Therefore you should know better than to try to stick up the place, somebody will point you out!!! That's like taking your 'girl on the side' to see Twilight on the first night it comes out in theatres. You know damn well either your real girlfriend will be there or one of her little bitch friends will be and they will rat you out at the drop of a dime. So the right thing to do is stay the fuck home and watch HBO on-demand and redeem your ticket for one free ride to Pound Town with aforementioned 'girl on the side'.. at least that's how it works for The Pecker.

Now I'm losing my focus and I'm all worked up because Jason Zacchi is an amateur when it comes to robbing his moms place of employment. Let's grade this dude and get the hell outta here.

• He went with intentions of robbing a place at gunpoint. That's pretty solid.
• Three words: SAWED OFF SHOTGUN.
• His Mom worked there, so you know he wasn't really gonna do shit.
• He's an absolute retard.

Peckerooski is gonna give him the benefit of the doubt, this is the Fix's first encounter of a sawed off shotgun and if there is one thing I love in this world, it's a sawed off shotgun. Jason's rolling a 7.4.. I think that's a fair assessment.

What do ya think, Fix Nation?

Extra: If I became desperate enough to rob a fast food joint here's my top 3.

1. Arby's: By far the easiest choice. Arby's is the most expensive fast food on the planet, I don't know anyone who goes there and yet it is ALWAYS crowded. This is really your best chance of getting a lot of money without being noticed.
2. McDonald's: Yes I know you are saying, "but Pecker lots of people you know go to McDonald's, right?" Doesn't matter, I'm strictly basing this choice on my childhood fantasy of having a badass stand-off with police while hiding out in the PlayPlace. Shit would get so intense. Add a sawed off shotgun to that and you are probably gonna have a movie made about yourself, epic.
3. Taco Bell- Late Night: Everybody in the place will be so high or drunk, including the employees, it wouldn't even be a challenge. Like stealing candy from Christopher Reeve, post-1995.

**Big ups to Johnny Boy in Cali for the link.

The Recycling Bin - Happy Holidays

Hello FixerNation... As you know there are certain pics, stories and videos that just never get old and when the time calls for old school offensive and degrading material you can bet that we here at the fix will occasionally reach down into the depths of the "Recycling Bin" and pull out a gem for the occasion. So Happy Holiday from us here at YDF! CLJ

Tiger's Thanksgiving Night: A Chinaman's Version

Funny Tiger Woods Accident Reenactment - Watch more Funny Videos

When it comes to Chinese vocabulary, Peckerino only knows two actual words: Wu Tang and buffet. But to tell you the truth, you don't need fucking Rosetta Stone to comprehend exactly what Senor Wong is saying here. The animation says it all. Since The Pecker doesn't want any rumors roaming around that he stereotypes a certain race, he won't tell you who he expected to be the antagonist in the video, but he'll give you a hint; it rhymes with 'Schmodzilla'.

The truly sad part about this animation though, is that somewhere a deaf kid in China is wondering why the President of the United States drives a mini-van.

Hump Day Porn Star Of The Week

Bree Olson

Mornin'. I don't know about you all but The Pecker is dehydrated after watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I also got to watch a little bit of the UNC vs. Michigan State game last night, and I do believe that the UNC vs UK game is going to be one of the better games of this college basketball season. Both teams are going to run and both have world class athletes that will make some great plays, not going to make a prediction but I will probably be taking the Over if it is less than 175 points. Have a good day at work, class or on the couch with your gravity bong.

Holla back.

And the "Skank Agent" is born...

DECEMBER 1--A Wisconsin teenager who described herself as a "skankagent" is facing felony charges for allegedly using Craigslist to rob prospective johns looking for sex. According to a circuit court complaint filed yesterday, Samantha Stubbe, 17, last month placed an ad in the online classified site's "Adult Gigs" section offering sexual favors in return for an apartment. After men were lured to a Fond du Lac motel for a purported liaison, Stubbe's male friends attacked them and stole their money. Stubbe, pictured below in the mug shot at right, was aided in the scheme by Stevi Smet, 18, who served as the female decoy outside the motel. Smet is pictured below at left. When questioned by police, Stubbe admitted orchestrating the strong-arm robbery scheme, but told Detective Steve Kaufman that "she would not consider herself a pimp but a 'skank agent,' meaning that she was an agent with skanky friends." Since state criminal codes do not address skank agentry, Stubbe was charged with soliciting prostitution and armed robbery. Smet, also charged with armed robbery, is facing a prostitution rap for allegedly having sex with a man who answered the Craigslist ad. The man, 19, told cops that he paid for Smet's services with a $175 check.

You know this story is not really one that grabs your attention... Really it's as common as that inaugural handjob at the movie theater in the seventh grade. I mean it's something you'd expect to read on a Wednesday in the "Police Beat" of the Union County Advocate. Everyday you hear about dirty little tramps on Myspeiz or Craiglist slutting it up to pay the rent... I mean how do you think the Pecker manages the pay for his Manhattan digs? But this story take a turn and when I say a turn I mean a fucking "90 degree, hold on to your dick, Fast and the Furious - Tokyo Drift" turn towards Pulitzer gold when the term "Shank Agent" gets referenced. I mean only once every decade or so is perfect urban diction created in the sense that it appeases the literary gods and today ladies and gentleman is one of those days. So move over Pimps, Hutsler's and Baller's of the world because the "Skank Agent" has arrived. Now try and say it three time fast. CLJ

Kid Gets Arrested For Facebook Photos

mddailyrecord.com- We know Facebook has helped police solve all sorts of crimes, from burglary to vandalism.
But did you know it’s also being used to fight a far more pernicious crime? No, not child sex abuse.
Underage drinking.
Apparently, a college student in Wisconsin accepted a Facebook friend request from a cute girl he didn’t know. Shortly thereafter, he got ticketed for underage drinking on the basis of a picture he’d posted of himself holding a beer–in his own home, no less.
True, it’s not smart to post pictures of yourself doing something illegal, even if it’s something pretty tame. (Some of the other kids caught in the same Facebook sting were ticketed based on photos someone else posted, though.) And if you do post those pictures, you shouldn’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know, even if they’re cute.
But for Pete’s sake–there has got to be something else these cops could be doing with their time.

To all you college Fixers, take notice to this. Talk about blueballs via the world wide web. Everytime a hot girl adds me on facebook that I don't know or remember, I automatically think she is one of three things: A spring break pregnancy, a chick who was ugly in high school that I didn't notice and now she wants to flaunt her shit in my face because she did a 180 and I'm just some dickhead with a keyboard, or it's some random girl in the area that I have a shot at making some bad decisions with.
Now dudes have to worry about this shit. They are probably doing the same for guys who are over 21 and asking them if they would buy beer and cigs for them. One minute you are buying cherry vodka in a driv-thru and the next thing you know you're finding out the hot chick is the 'Robin' to Chris Hanson's 'Batman' and before you know it you are in prison getting butt-raped.
This whole internet generation is starting to blow if you ask me.


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News from The Gleaner- Via AP

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina (AP) — A 38-year-old former Miss Argentina has died from complications after undergoing cosmetic surgery on her buttocks.
Solange Magnano, a mother of twins who won the crown in 1994, died of a pulmonary embolism Sunday after three days in critical condition following a gluteoplasty in Buenos Aires.
Close friend Roberto Piazza said the procedure involved injections and the liquid “went to her lungs and brain.”
“A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind,” he said.
Solange’s burial Monday was shown on Argentine television.
Dr. Gondola Courts y Triton said she arrived at his hospital with an acute respiratory deficiency. Her condition deteriorated until she suffered the embolism.

Cosmetic surgery is all fun and games until the doctor puts something in your ass cheeks that your body doesn't like and you end up dead. This is a sad day, the girl was probably just trying to be Thursday's Filly. I'm sure T-Bone could have told her that she wasn't qualified because she isn't from the Commonwealth and that the firmness of her ass was not a factor whatsoever. I mean she probably had a better backfield than '04 Auburn Tigers. Why risk messing that up and possibly losing your life for some butt cheek implants?
Anyway, this is a tragic day for all of us here at the Fix, and Miss Magnano, you will be missed greatly.

Filly of the Day

Here she is boys, another thoroughbred, I know how you like 'em.  Tess, from Hendo, a sophomore at WKU.

This was back in '94.

And here's what you been waiting for...

Have a good day fixers.  T Bone

Weightroom Motherfucker!

The Pecker asks. The Pecker recieves. Yesterday when I was talking about how badass Toby Gerhart from Stanford is, a Fixer all the way out in Oregon (the Fix knows no boundaries) knew exactly what I was talking about when I talked about him trucking some dickhead from Notre Dame. So he searched his little heart out last night and sent it to me for all to see. So in one game Toby Gerhart managed to score three times, run for 200+ yards, get Notre Dames fat coach fired, knock someones dick through their ass, and he made it look like a walk in the park. Screw the Heisman, Toby Gerhart for President of Earth.

Suck on that, Tebow.

**Big ups to Ben Cox in Oregon for the video.

Happy December!

Top o' the mornin' to ya.. The Pecker is about as excited as a slut in a forest of cocks this morning because there is no better way to start the month of December than to get shit-canned off of egg nog and watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I think I can speak for the rest of the Fix that we are all keeping our fingers crossed for a 'nipple slip', that shit hasn't happened since Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl. Whatever happens I hope Seal doesn't show up and sing again this year. Last year was an amazing show full of some great spank bank material, then Seal decided to show his face and The Pecker threw up all over his new carpet. Get a mask or something, asshole.

Anyway, the Saints are head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. Yeah, and I am including the Colts in the 'rest of the NFL'. New Orleans could go to Indy right now and cover a 13 point spread with ease. The Saints beat the Patriots so bad that even Rodney King would say, "Now that there was an ass whoopin'." I can hear him now.

Stay tuned folks, gonna be a great day on yourdalyfix.com.