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Monday, February 15, 2010

DESIGNER GENES


By: Stephen Jared House



You’ve heard about the kid. His famous scoring shows he put on in college. Beating Goliath (Georgetown) in the NCCA Tournament, single handily almost making the Final Four at Davidson! Leading all of men’s college basketball in scoring last season while teams zeroed in their defense on him night after night. Stephen Curry captured the hearts of Americans in his three years playing basketball for Davidson, a tiny school is a sleepy little town tucked away in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Curry is also known for another reason. He has been known for this before he ever hit his first three, or laced up his first pair of Nike’s. He’s the son of one of the greatest shooters in the history of the National Basketball Association, Dell Curry. He has always heard people say, “Hey, that’s Stephen Curry, he’s the son of Dell Curry” Talk about a long shadow to try to get out from under!
Let’s be honest, college basketball is more popular with mainstream America than the NBA. Anyone who watched college basketball knows who Stephen Curry was. But I would wager that only about fifty percent of those people know where Curry is playing now. A.) because he plays for the Golden State Warriors and B.) because, well he’s in the NBA. Now while the Warriors aren’t on national television regularly, they do have a few games on in prime time, but being on the west coast they start at eleven pm, and unless you are a writer like me, a college student, or an upper addict you probably won’t be staying up to watch Golden State and Portland play until one o’clock or later in the morning.
I was a critic of Curry’s when he was drafted and my prognostication for him was, “Going to be a good player, never great. Starter for a good team, bench player for a championship caliber team. One dimensional role player who will knock down open shots, but can’t create for himself because of size and strength and certainly can’t play defense.” Go back look it up on my older posts. Yeah I know, I’m eating crow as I type. Now I’m not saying that if you put Curry on the Lakers that he would start, Hell no, but just about any other team he would be, and all but the defensive assessment that I made have been proven wrong. I will stand by that til the day I die that he will never be able to play defense! But back to where I foolishly said he couldn’t create his own shot, we let’s look at his stat line from Wednesday night, the last game before the All-Star break. Mr. Curry recorded seven 3’s, 10 rebounds, 13 assists 3 steals, and 36 points all while shoot 50 percent from the floor that night! That’s a triple-double that you see from the likes of LeBron James and it still makes you say, Wow! Not too shabby.
As a rookie he is averaging 14.8 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 4.9 assists. Those would be Rookie of the Year number if not for the fact that Tyreke Evans and Brandon Jennings are having even better years. The most impressive stat that pops out to me when I see the box score is not the points or the threes but rather the time he plays. Curry averages 34 and a half minutes per game. A lot of veteran starters don’t play that much.
Father Dell was a sniper and one of the best ever. He is still the all-time scoring leader for the Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats. He was the recipient of the 1994 NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award and ranks 28th all-time in three’s made. But if Stephen Curry keeps making progress he might make people start to say, Hey, that’s “Dell Curry, his son is Stephen Curry.”

-Stephen Jared House

Friday, January 29, 2010

The Game of Black Jack

Any of you fixers out there gamble?  I hope so.  If you don't, you should.  Whether you're placing money on the ball game or throwing your coins in a slot machine on a cruise liner, gambling is one of the most exhilarating feelings a man can get; the bigger you gamble and the more you win, the more exhilarating the feeling gets.  Myself, I'm a Texas Hold 'em player but I've come to find out that Texas Hold 'em is played best with your buddies in tournaments at the frat house or on the internet.  I've come to learn that the best game to play in a casino environment is Black Jack.  No other game can you win as much money as Black Jack.  As in Texas Hold 'em, you are not playing against the other players; in Black Jack you are playing against the house.  With this said, you can only win as much as the players have, then they're out.  In Black Jack, you can win as much money as the casino has, and that is millions.


My Grandfather self published a book and produced a video teaching the best way in that you can beat the casino at Black Jack.  Here he is with me explaining the game.




To learn more go to WWW.BEATEMATTHEIROWNGAME.COM where you can purchase the strategy so you can walk into a casino and have a great time winning.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bringin' down the House


BRINGIN’ DOWN THE HOUSE

By: Stephen Jared House




ALLEN IVERSON AN ALL-STAR?




The debate is raging, and it’s my turn to weigh in on it. Now if you read regularly you know that I criticize Allen Iverson just as much and his most as his most loathed opponents, but I do really like the guy. Not only do I respect and like him as a person but also as pound-for-pound the best basketball player to ever step on the hardwood.
Iverson has put on some of the most capitivating offensive performances in the history of the Association. Two images of Allen Iverson I will never forget would be, stepping over Tryone Lue during Game 1 of the 2001 NBA Finals after sinking a fade-a-way three from the corner in front of the Laker bench. The Lakers not having lost a single game in the play offs looked to make a clean sweep to the Trophy but Iverson’s heavily under dogged 76er’s squad beat the Lakers in that first game. Although they only won that one game and lost the Finals that image will be scorched into my memory longer than any other from the series. The second would when Iverson was a rookie and crossed over His Airness, Michael Jordan his crossover dribble that is the nastiest that the game has ever seen.
Then there are the bad moments, like Iverson’s infamous press conference where he reiterated “Practice, Practice? Man we talking about practice, Practice!” (Granted I totally agreed with him on the issue.) Or last year in Detroit when he was clearly concerned about playing and was not going to come off the bench even though that’s what the team needed.
Now Iverson is getting pulverized in the media because the fans voted him in as a started in the All-Star Game. Let me remind all the basketball pundits out there, The NBA has the best All-Star game in all the four major sports. The NFL has to supplement half of the Pro Bowl roster with other players because the players elected do not want to play! The fans have total control of who they want to see in the game, and that’s why they watch it! Sorry Zach Randolph you are having a great season, but people would rather see A’mare Stoudemire than you. It’s all about the fans and that’s what David Stern sees and he will never tinker with that fomula.
Allen Iverson is done in the Association as a player of any consequence. His speed and quickness are corroding before our eyes, and it looks like he will never get that elusive championship. But Iverson will leave a huge footprint on the game of basketball. In the demographic of males ages 19-28 he will be remembered has one of the best players they saw from the time they started watching basketball. His cat-like reflexes and balletic drives down the lane will be shown on highlight reels for the rest of time.
So why not let him start this All-Star game? He is more than likely going to retire after this season. Let him go out with one last hurrah. Let him have the center stage, put him in the limelight one last time. One the biggest of stages the greatness in players is extrapolated. When All-Star Sunday is all said and done don’t be surprised when the largest award, the game MVP trophy is being held by the smallest man on the court.
Marie Antoinette was alleged to have said “Qu’’ils mangent de la brioche”(Let them eat cake”). When she heard that the people of France had no bread to eat. This year’s All-Star cry should be, “Let them have Iverson!”

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I got something for ya

Taylor from I don't know where, KY.



THOSE THINGS LOOK LIKE WATERMELONS IN A HOT TUB!!




you could see her cleavage in a turtle neck


O Where Art Thou Daly Fixers??


Before one can criticize others, he must first look at his own self. I haven't come to the calling in terms of solid literature for all those Fixers out there and am disappointed in not only myself, but some of my colleagues. Luckily we've had some brilliant posts keep the interest going, but I'm not gonna lie, we need to get the website back to its height of greatness.


If there ever is nothing in the world to talk about (which in the cyber world is never) you can always bring up our Beloved Cats basketball whether good times or bad. I found it entirely comical looking back at posts from yesteryer, in the unforsaken times of the thankfully extinct Billy Clyde era. Days of losing to Gardner-Webb and VMI are oh so forgotten and luckily we have re-gained the throne of college basketball. Thank you Cal, Blue Jesus, Big Cuz, Pdpatt, and the rest of BIG BLUE NATION for putting Lexington back on the 'national' map.


In honor of the great start to the season ESPN has granted Kentucky with the gig of hosting college gameday on Saturday, February 13th. This event will not only be great for the fans of UK basketball, but for the crazies all across the world as neutral fans will understand what basketball in the bluegrass is all about. Those here at YDF would like to make the date special as well in promoting the website again by printing off some shirts for the occassion. Lookout for these custom design shirts the weekend of the Tennessee game. We'll be promoting all around Rupp Arena and the bars in between Gameday and tip-off.
GO CATS!





Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Gleaner- Hendo Area News

The Gleaner- Margaret Francis Cotton of Evansville was arrested Friday afternoon and taken to the Vanderburgh County Jail. She was later released on $100 bond.
According to an Evansville Police Department affidavit, an undercover detective had several e-mail exchanges with her, and she agreed to meet him in a room at the Casino Aztar Hotel.
Before the meeting, the detective spoke to her on the telephone about what would take place there. The conversation was recorded.
Cotton allegedly let the detective into the room and asked him to place a "donation" under the telephone, according to the report. According to her web postings the officer said her rate was $120 an hour.


Folks, this is exactly why The Gleaner is the preferred local newspaper at The Fix. It's like the National Inquirer except everything is true and shit. Like would you really believe this if someone showed you this picture and told you that Marg Francis Cotton is a prostitute and she's charging big bucks to bang for an hour. Well believe it, because it's in The mother fuckin' Gleaner.

I think they are arresting the wrong person, though. Whoever is fucking this thing should be the person breaking the law here. You may call it dirty prostitution at its finest, but it's a clear cut case of Beastiality if you ask ol' Peckerino. You can't just shell out $120 to get your dick wet with Bigfoot and expect to get away with it. Either way, if I'm ordering a hooker at Aztar and this thing shows up, I'm pissing my pants and giving her every dollar I have just so she doesn't bite my face off and rip my dick to shreds.

Pants On The Ground.. Takin' Over The World BITCHES!






I've never watched American Idol past the first demos. Not really any reason to do so. Because the winners, outside of Carrie Underwood (soon to be Carrie Underwood Pecker), never do shit. Kelly Clarkson can kiss my dick for all I care, and Taylor Hicks?? Dude's probably doing side gigs at Metzger's Tavern in the slums of Hendo right now just to pay his highlighting bills. And Metzger's doesn't even have live entertainment, so good luck with that, you old, grey haired, non-singin' asshole. And I'm not even going to begin to get into Rueben Studdart and Adam 'not that there's anything wrong with that' Lambert.

But that's enough about the losers. I wanna talk about 'Pants On The Ground'. Get ready for your 15 minutes of fame, old black dude. This was obviously a publicity stunt by Idol, being that you can't be on the show if you are over the age of 28, but that's neither here nor there. But this won't be any normal fame, I'm talking Willie James Huff aka Funky Chicken and Balloon Boy type fame. So far today I've seen him talked about on 3 morning shows and facebook status' galore. So without further ado, congrats, old black dude, you will be pop icon for at least the next 3 1/2-4 weeks.

BOOM! That Just Happened!!!!!

Filly of the Week

Hello Hello folks, T-Bone's back and so are your favorite Fillies.  With an all new lineup this 2010 season, you guys will know all the right places to find those soft squeezy things in the great state of Kentucky.  Batting at #1 is an old favorite of mine from the very same place I was raised, Shelbyville, KY.  She's stacked like the best, Morgan.



And country.  How much fun would you be having if you went frog giggin' all night with this one?  Ribbit Ribbit.


She's just like one of the boys, she loves big trucks.



I'm not sure exactly what she was for halloween, but I know you fixers could give two shits less what she was actually was.



And she works at the Louisville Hooters.  I'll just leave you breathless with her calendar photos.



Supposedly this one got offered a couple thousand to do Playboy but she refused.  Pretty nice set of class on this.  Welcome back, now if The Pecker can give us some more of that heinous humor he's so good at coming up with we'll be back and rolling again.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Filly of the Week



Starting back on Thursdays





Shout out to Tyler Frey, better helping me become an expert on the above subjects.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Welcome Back, Kind Of.


Greetings, Earthlings. It's been awhile since I rode off into the KY sunset, and though I have had the urges to talk shit about people behind a blog name the past three weeks, I have decided to be responsible for a change due to reasons that I cannot explain at the moment. As you can see, none of the other Founding Fixers seemed to worry about losing our following and if some of you took it as a big, digitalized 'Fuck Off', I apologize... I'm...... I'm embarrassed.

Should be back on Monday, until then, if you have an iPhone and are familiar with the game 'Scrabble', download the free app called 'Words With Friends' and challenge me. I've grown quite fond of that game.

user name: Walter Sobchak


Mark it 8, dude.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Thirsty Thursdays- Melt Your Fucking Face Off.




This is why I'll never take a flaming Dr. Pepper, be in a circus, work as a fireman, or order Fire Sauce from Taco Bell. I don't want my god damn flesh burning off. Period. Have a good night. folks.

8 Days to Christmas

IPod/IPhone projector.  This thing's incredible.  Blows up to 40 inches.  Plug it up to your iphone and project the image on any flat white surface (Paris Hilton's ass)  I'd rather bone Nikki.