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Monday, November 30, 2009

Best Dunk Ever



Thursday, November 26, 2009

Filly of the Day


Gobble Gobble.  Today I want to show you fixers what I mean when I say thoroughbred and saddlebred.  Today's Filly of the Day is a definite thoroughbred from U of L, an ex cheerleader, Jordan.

Thoroughbred is not only a look, but also a personality.  Thoroughbreds are much faster, harder to control.



They are much more powerful as seen in the pictures above.


And there's a certain thickness that runs through their long line of breeding blood.

Here she's about to go to the races with Ole' T Bone.  Be careful with these thoroughbreds they'll make you spend all your money on 'em.


The thing about Filly of the Day as opposed to The Pecker's humpday star of the day, is that you can actually see these girls outside of your beater box.  This Filly works at the famous Sully's Saloon at Fourth Street Live in Downtown Louisville.  Go check her out, her butt cheeks will more than likely be hanging out of whatever she's wearing.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Who Would You Rather Bone? (Thanksgiving Edition)

-OR-


Pilgrims and Indians baby! I bet Christopher Columbus had his way with both of 'em, but this is the Fix and you sure as hell ain't Christopher Columbus so you only get to choose one. El Peckerino is taking the pilgrim, she can land on my Plymouth Rock 8 days a week. With some gravy on it!

Who ya got Fix?! (looking for some good Thanksgiving puns)

6 Year Old Will Haunt Your Dreams



I asked MayDay to post this damn thing yesterday but sure enough he didn't come through. I don't have words for this, kid just rocks people for a living I guess.

Behavior Like This Is Exactly Why I Don't Go To The State of Indiana!



I am not sure if I have ever ranted on how much I hate the state of Indiana and this looks to be a perfect video to demonstrate my hatred towards the entire state. First, I would like to apologize to all the Fixers in Evansville, thank you for following us here at the Fix, this will only take a second.
Indiana is by far the worst State in the history of States. Name one good thing that came out of Indiana and I might show a little sympathy, but you cannot say Hoosiers, penicillin (seriously, thank you) , Larry Bird, or Peyton Manning because he is from fucking Louisiana and I bet you $100 he hates Indiana, too. Actually, one of the reasons I didn't go to the University of Kentucky is because it's a 3 hour drive and 2 1/2 hours of the drive you have to go through
Indiana, no way could I do that a couple of times a semester. It's the only place The Pecker has gotten a speeding ticket and I got that wiped off because I know motherfuckers and they think Indiana laws are a joke as well. So I pissed on the ticket and called it a day. My uncle's back yard is on the river, guess what's across the river.... Ding ding, Indiana. He's been trying to convince his wife for years to put up a brick wall so he doesn't have to look at Indiana when he's barbecuing on the weekends and is still fighting that fight today.
Anyway, back to the video. I actually encourage the youth of Indiana to keep it up with the Ball Tapping, ruin eachother's balls until you are sterile so my kids don't have to put up with your shit like I have my whole life.

The Gleaner- Hendo Area News

Three Morganfield residents are scheduled to appear on The Jerry Springer Show today to prove they are "Jerry's Biggest Fan."
According to a press release, Zakia Perry, Rodney Bell and Damion Wharton will perform next to Springer at 5 p.m. on My44, which is Channel 17 for Insight cable customers.
Springer and the team at The Jerry Springer Show asked the American TV audience to prove that they are "Jerry's Biggest Fan" by sending in fun, creative and original videos that capture the show's outrageous guests and surprising plot twists.
The top three finalists were flown out to the studio in Stamford, Conn., where they were scheduled to perform on stage for the chance to win the grand prize of $5,000.
After seeing each of the three finalists, the studio audience selects the winner.
The Jerry Springer Show, now in its 19th season, is taped in front of a live studio audience in Stamford, Conn., and is distributed in national syndication by NBC Universal Domestic Television Distribution.


Hey Gleaner, either shit or get off the pot. You think letting the people of Hendo know that someone from Morganfield, KY is going be on the Jerry Springer Show is something that they couldn't have already guessed? Fuck, at the age of 14 I was convinced that the show was actually filmed either in or somewhere around Morganfield because everytime I drove through there I was pretty sure I saw a pregnant lady with "eat shit" tattoo'd on her forehead that was identical to the skank on the show from the week before. Then I found out there was no electricity within 40 miles of Morganfield so it would be fucking impossible to pull off a TV show, but you can imagine the dissapointment I had when I figured that out.

Anyway, I guess all I can do is say congrats to all you Braves and Bravettes, enjoy your 15 minutes of Springer fame.

** I Google Imaged 'Morganfield, KY' and these pictures were on the first page of results.

What the fuck is a Dog Warden? Is it real? Sign me up.








Hump Day Porn Star of the Week



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Speaking of stuffing a turkey..... This is the first brunette featured in HDPSOTW, and there probably isn't a better one out there than Raven Riley. In honor of Thanksgiving we're gonna try to keep it semi-holidayish today, so if you have a funny news story about turkey or pictures of a hot chick humping a turkey..... ANYTHING turkey and/or pilgrim related, send it my way to thepecker.fix@gmail.com

Enjoy your day folks!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Big Skank Fighting Little Skank- Big Skank Gets Embarrassed



This one is going down as one of The Pecker's all-time greatest videos. This is like in Rocky V when Rocky's skanky son gets his ass kicked in at school every day and finally whoops the shit out of the bullys, except these dudes might be a little more skankier. My favorite part of the video is when the bigger guy tries to get cocky and says 'ding ding'. Yeah, ding ding is right, you just got your ass rocked by that little kid. And then to top it off the little bastard gets in one more blow, as if he were saying 'How's my ass taste, bitch?' Damn I love it.

Think You Had A Bad Saturday?



Chicago Tribune- As a tumultuous season draws to a bitter close, Notre Dame and the faces of the football program continue to take hit after hit. And, apparently, in all too literal a sense.Starting quarterback and team captain Jimmy Clausen was involved in an altercation outside a South Bend, Ind., bar in the hours after a double-overtime loss to Connecticut on Saturday, taking a punch to the face in the incident, sources told the Tribune.Clausen suffered at least one black eye as a result of the punch, according to a source. A spokesman for Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis said he could not reach Weis for comment Monday night. A South Bend police spokesman said Monday no police reports were filed over the weekend that involved Clausen. The particulars of the confrontation are unclear, though a person answering the phone at CJ's Pub, the bar in question, said the incident "absolutely did not take place inside the bar."

I doubt your Saturday was as bad as college football's biggest toolbag, Jimmy Clausen. First he loses at home to Connecticut, who hasn't won a game since the death of a starting defensive back, and after that he probably realized his fat ass, tub-o-lard coach isn't going to be his fat ass, tub-o-lard coach next season. Then the cherry on top of his shit sundae is a punch to the face by a Notre Dame fan!

Hey Jimmy, if you didn't realize how big of a douche you were before this incident, here ya go. You are the best football player in South Bend, you are the only reason Notre Dame has won any of their games this year, you go to a bar full of Notre Dame fans in the city of South Bend, IN and you get your ass kicked and nobody helped you. Maybe skipping your senior year for the NFL isn't such a bad idea after all, aye Jimmy??

I don't blame the guy, though. Ever since Jimmy Clausen showed up in a Hummer Limousine at the college football Hall of Fame dressed like the dickhead that he is (pictured above), wearing his state championship rings to announce that he is signing up to play for Notre fuckin' Dame, The Pecker made a promise to himself that if he ever saw Jimmy Clausen in public he would punch him in the face and/or gouge his eyeballs out with an ice pick.

Weight Room Motherfucker!


#55 THE PUNISHER POP WARNER FOOTBALL - Watch more Funny Videos

You don't have to even ask why this dude's nickname is the Punisher. Just de-cleating dudes left and right like it's his fucking job. He takes out two dudes and neither one of 'em even thought about getting up once they hit the ground. These little DB's better think twice before blowing up a sweep to their side, because the Punisher is awake, and he wants to eat your mother's soul. Hey #12, good luck finding your dick.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Happy Tuesday! Vince Young's Crazy Ass Is Back!


I'll admit, I gave up on Vince Young after they let boozehound Kerry Collins start for two seasons in a row. I was sure that the last piece of news I was ever gonna hear out of Vince is a story about him getting caught on the outskirts of Nashville with a 13 year old girl riding shotgun in his Escalade with an executioner's mask, a bottle of asshole lube, a half gallon of Philadelphia and a 12 bricks of bottle rockets. I expected him to at some point be put into jail for a year or two and watch him ride his horse all the way to the loony bin. But thankfully I stand corrected.
He didn't put up gaudy stats or make an eye-popping run to end the game, but the coaches did a great job of adjusting the Titans play selection to allow him success. I don't expect them to win the Super Bowl but I do think they have a punchers chance at making the playoffs if their defense keeps improving and they keep executing their offense like they have the last 4 games.

That being said, I still believe deep down in my heart that Vince Young is bat shit crazy and made this video at some in the last year.



Thurman Murman/Eric Wood Gets Joe Theisman-ed!









OUCH... Needless to say he will not be making an appearance in the eagerly anticipated "Bad Santa 2" this upcoming Holiday Season.


CLJ