And the "Skank Agent" is born...

DECEMBER 1--A Wisconsin teenager who described herself as a "skankagent" is facing felony charges for allegedly using Craigslist to rob prospective johns looking for sex. According to a circuit court complaint filed yesterday, Samantha Stubbe, 17, last month placed an ad in the online classified site's "Adult Gigs" section offering sexual favors in return for an apartment. After men were lured to a Fond du Lac motel for a purported liaison, Stubbe's male friends attacked them and stole their money. Stubbe, pictured below in the mug shot at right, was aided in the scheme by Stevi Smet, 18, who served as the female decoy outside the motel. Smet is pictured below at left. When questioned by police, Stubbe admitted orchestrating the strong-arm robbery scheme, but told Detective Steve Kaufman that "she would not consider herself a pimp but a 'skank agent,' meaning that she was an agent with skanky friends." Since state criminal codes do not address skank agentry, Stubbe was charged with soliciting prostitution and armed robbery. Smet, also charged with armed robbery, is facing a prostitution rap for allegedly having sex with a man who answered the Craigslist ad. The man, 19, told cops that he paid for Smet's services with a $175 check.

You know this story is not really one that grabs your attention... Really it's as common as that inaugural handjob at the movie theater in the seventh grade. I mean it's something you'd expect to read on a Wednesday in the "Police Beat" of the Union County Advocate. Everyday you hear about dirty little tramps on Myspeiz or Craiglist slutting it up to pay the rent... I mean how do you think the Pecker manages the pay for his Manhattan digs? But this story take a turn and when I say a turn I mean a fucking "90 degree, hold on to your dick, Fast and the Furious - Tokyo Drift" turn towards Pulitzer gold when the term "Shank Agent" gets referenced. I mean only once every decade or so is perfect urban diction created in the sense that it appeases the literary gods and today ladies and gentleman is one of those days. So move over Pimps, Hutsler's and Baller's of the world because the "Skank Agent" has arrived. Now try and say it three time fast. CLJ

Kid Gets Arrested For Facebook Photos

mddailyrecord.com- We know Facebook has helped police solve all sorts of crimes, from burglary to vandalism.
But did you know it’s also being used to fight a far more pernicious crime? No, not child sex abuse.
Underage drinking.
Apparently, a college student in Wisconsin accepted a Facebook friend request from a cute girl he didn’t know. Shortly thereafter, he got ticketed for underage drinking on the basis of a picture he’d posted of himself holding a beer–in his own home, no less.
True, it’s not smart to post pictures of yourself doing something illegal, even if it’s something pretty tame. (Some of the other kids caught in the same Facebook sting were ticketed based on photos someone else posted, though.) And if you do post those pictures, you shouldn’t accept friend requests from people you don’t know, even if they’re cute.
But for Pete’s sake–there has got to be something else these cops could be doing with their time.

To all you college Fixers, take notice to this. Talk about blueballs via the world wide web. Everytime a hot girl adds me on facebook that I don't know or remember, I automatically think she is one of three things: A spring break pregnancy, a chick who was ugly in high school that I didn't notice and now she wants to flaunt her shit in my face because she did a 180 and I'm just some dickhead with a keyboard, or it's some random girl in the area that I have a shot at making some bad decisions with.
Now dudes have to worry about this shit. They are probably doing the same for guys who are over 21 and asking them if they would buy beer and cigs for them. One minute you are buying cherry vodka in a driv-thru and the next thing you know you're finding out the hot chick is the 'Robin' to Chris Hanson's 'Batman' and before you know it you are in prison getting butt-raped.
This whole internet generation is starting to blow if you ask me.


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News from The Gleaner- Via AP

BUENOS AIRES, Argentina (AP) — A 38-year-old former Miss Argentina has died from complications after undergoing cosmetic surgery on her buttocks.
Solange Magnano, a mother of twins who won the crown in 1994, died of a pulmonary embolism Sunday after three days in critical condition following a gluteoplasty in Buenos Aires.
Close friend Roberto Piazza said the procedure involved injections and the liquid “went to her lungs and brain.”
“A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind,” he said.
Solange’s burial Monday was shown on Argentine television.
Dr. Gondola Courts y Triton said she arrived at his hospital with an acute respiratory deficiency. Her condition deteriorated until she suffered the embolism.

Cosmetic surgery is all fun and games until the doctor puts something in your ass cheeks that your body doesn't like and you end up dead. This is a sad day, the girl was probably just trying to be Thursday's Filly. I'm sure T-Bone could have told her that she wasn't qualified because she isn't from the Commonwealth and that the firmness of her ass was not a factor whatsoever. I mean she probably had a better backfield than '04 Auburn Tigers. Why risk messing that up and possibly losing your life for some butt cheek implants?
Anyway, this is a tragic day for all of us here at the Fix, and Miss Magnano, you will be missed greatly.

Filly of the Day

Here she is boys, another thoroughbred, I know how you like 'em.  Tess, from Hendo, a sophomore at WKU.

This was back in '94.

And here's what you been waiting for...

Have a good day fixers.  T Bone

Weightroom Motherfucker!

The Pecker asks. The Pecker recieves. Yesterday when I was talking about how badass Toby Gerhart from Stanford is, a Fixer all the way out in Oregon (the Fix knows no boundaries) knew exactly what I was talking about when I talked about him trucking some dickhead from Notre Dame. So he searched his little heart out last night and sent it to me for all to see. So in one game Toby Gerhart managed to score three times, run for 200+ yards, get Notre Dames fat coach fired, knock someones dick through their ass, and he made it look like a walk in the park. Screw the Heisman, Toby Gerhart for President of Earth.

Suck on that, Tebow.

**Big ups to Ben Cox in Oregon for the video.

Happy December!

Top o' the mornin' to ya.. The Pecker is about as excited as a slut in a forest of cocks this morning because there is no better way to start the month of December than to get shit-canned off of egg nog and watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I think I can speak for the rest of the Fix that we are all keeping our fingers crossed for a 'nipple slip', that shit hasn't happened since Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl. Whatever happens I hope Seal doesn't show up and sing again this year. Last year was an amazing show full of some great spank bank material, then Seal decided to show his face and The Pecker threw up all over his new carpet. Get a mask or something, asshole.

Anyway, the Saints are head and shoulders above the rest of the NFL. Yeah, and I am including the Colts in the 'rest of the NFL'. New Orleans could go to Indy right now and cover a 13 point spread with ease. The Saints beat the Patriots so bad that even Rodney King would say, "Now that there was an ass whoopin'." I can hear him now.

Stay tuned folks, gonna be a great day on yourdalyfix.com.

Maybe Charlie Weis' Recruiting Was A Little Too....... Vanilla.

Surely they didn't have that many kickers, amirite?

GQ Ranks America's Top 25 Douchiest Colleges

Pretty spot on, though I have to say after meeting a Dukie, they should have been in the #1 spot.

America's 25 Douchiest Colleges

Who Would You Rather Bone? (Tiger Edition)

-OR-



Rachel 'Tiger's Skank' Uchitel vs Elin Nordegren

Open and shut case if you ask me. I'm taking Elin all day everyday. But you know what they say... for every hot girl out there, there is a guy that's tired of screwing her. Tiger was that guy.

Tiger Tiger Woods, Y'all!

(not so much)


I hate the thought of TMZ and all other smut publishers besides the somewhat smutty stuff that I love to type up every now and then, but after this weekend and the whole Tiger thing, THANK GOD FOR TMZ. Though it is still unsure if he is human or not, we found out two important things: He bleeds his own blood. He is a dude.

Pecker is kinda torn on this whole situation though. I mean yeah I could have guessed that Tiger was probably cheating on his while she was pregnant for two straight years. Hell, in my wedding vowels I plan to make it know to my wife that for every 9 months that she is pregnant The Pecker is allowed up to two mulligans (see what I did there?) during that period of time. It's only fair, amirite? If she came into the relationship totally oblivious to the possibility of Tiger railing some whores on the side, then that's her own damn fault.
The thing that is killing me is how much Tiger is trying to hide this. I mean come on guy, you really think we are all as stupid as your wife? It was 2:30 in the mo'nin and you were just blasted all over the internet two days before all of this for allegedly cheating on Elin. Shit hit the fan, you tried to be a pussy about the situation and leave the scene after your wife confronted you then she went bat-shit. So come on, Eldrick. Do us all a favor and fess up.
I bet $100 within the next week Tiger will be caught in a jewelry store buying a ring the size of the fucking Titanic.



**On a side note, in Tiger's apology he said that his wife "acted heroicly" by smashing out the back window of his Escalade with a golf club after he wrecked in order to help him out of the vehicle. Why the fuck would he want to climb all the way through the back of an SUV with shattered glass on the floor.. what's wrong with his window or door? Hell, any of the doors or windows would be better than the fucking back window! Get your shit straight before you try to trick The Pecker.

Name that Drug

This is the guy who played the little bitch in Gladiator as well as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line.

Now he's running around, head full of nappy hair and a full beard, never taking his sunglasses off saying that he's a rapper.  This has been going on for at least a year now.  His first performance in Vegas, he starts jumping around yelling like a retard, gets light headed, and falls off the stage.

Now at his most recent concert in Miami, it seems as though he's actually came up with a song.  Watch the clip and you see as he performs it, the crowd loves it.  Then some "asshole" in the front row apparently gives him a hard time.  Joaquin first talks shit by saying, "I've got a million dollars in my bank account, what the fuck do you have bitch!?"  The guy retorts with something slick, I guess, because the next thing you see is Joaquin jumping off the stage to fight the guy.  Fight starts at 1:30.

Then the host/dj whatever says, "Joaquin, baby!  This mother fucker gets crunk!" and they play Paper Planes by MIA.  Joaquin ends up getting thrown out of his own concert.  I'm not sure what drugs I would say he's on.  What do you think fixers?

Happy Monday!

Chick In Basket Crashes Down Flight of Stairs - Watch more Funny Videos


Mornin' clowns. If you are having as hard of a time as I am to get the day going, I suggest you try the girl above's method. Nothing like eating a flight of stairs in the morning. I have to say this is probably the worst Monday of the year. I just ate 26 fucking kilos of turkey and someone expects me to actually get some work done? Bullshit. I'm takin' a half-day and going back to to hibernate. What a weekend for sports, though.

• First thing is first, if Toby Gerhart of Stanford doesn't win the Heisman Trophy after his performance against the Golden Domers late Saturday night, it will be nothing short of robbery. 205 yards rushing, 2 TD's and a touchdown pass. The guy is a fucking animal and I am searching like crazy for a play from that game where he used the truck stick to absolutely demolish a DB. If you can find it, please send to thepecker.fix@gmail.com.


• Tennessee beats Kentucky for the 25th time in a row. Really should not suprise anyone, but the way it was lost makes you wonder why Joker Phillips has the title 'Head Coach in waiting'. Only thing that does is give him something to pound his chest about. Because I can promise you he wasn't gonna leave in the first place, you think other schools are beating his door down asking him to be a head coach??? Hell no. The guy is fucking CLUELESS when it's nut cutting time as he refused to let Randall Cobb win the game for him. I don't give a shit if he was tired, I would have let him take snaps from a god damn wheelchair before I let Morgan Newton run a QB sweep. That's not the first time Kentucky let a Tennessee win slip right through their fingers, and it won't be the last. I predict the streak finally ends at 28, though.

• If you think Kentucky basketball had a bad coach the last couple of years, I'll see your Billy G. and raise you Steve Kragthorpe. I'm pretty sure that was the worst coaching job in the history of sports and whomever is next in line has a tough job one their hands. Hopefully the list starts with Florida's defensive coordinator Charlie Strong, but after the Kragthorpe hire, there's no fucking telling who they will go after.

Anyway, got a lot of things happening this week and hopefully we can keep up, I guess we'll see. And no I have no forgotten about Tiger Woods.