DESIGNER GENES

By: Stephen Jared House



You’ve heard about the kid. His famous scoring shows he put on in college. Beating Goliath (Georgetown) in the NCCA Tournament, single handily almost making the Final Four at Davidson! Leading all of men’s college basketball in scoring last season while teams zeroed in their defense on him night after night. Stephen Curry captured the hearts of Americans in his three years playing basketball for Davidson, a tiny school is a sleepy little town tucked away in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Curry is also known for another reason. He has been known for this before he ever hit his first three, or laced up his first pair of Nike’s. He’s the son of one of the greatest shooters in the history of the National Basketball Association, Dell Curry. He has always heard people say, “Hey, that’s Stephen Curry, he’s the son of Dell Curry” Talk about a long shadow to try to get out from under!
Let’s be honest, college basketball is more popular with mainstream America than the NBA. Anyone who watched college basketball knows who Stephen Curry was. But I would wager that only about fifty percent of those people know where Curry is playing now. A.) because he plays for the Golden State Warriors and B.) because, well he’s in the NBA. Now while the Warriors aren’t on national television regularly, they do have a few games on in prime time, but being on the west coast they start at eleven pm, and unless you are a writer like me, a college student, or an upper addict you probably won’t be staying up to watch Golden State and Portland play until one o’clock or later in the morning.
I was a critic of Curry’s when he was drafted and my prognostication for him was, “Going to be a good player, never great. Starter for a good team, bench player for a championship caliber team. One dimensional role player who will knock down open shots, but can’t create for himself because of size and strength and certainly can’t play defense.” Go back look it up on my older posts. Yeah I know, I’m eating crow as I type. Now I’m not saying that if you put Curry on the Lakers that he would start, Hell no, but just about any other team he would be, and all but the defensive assessment that I made have been proven wrong. I will stand by that til the day I die that he will never be able to play defense! But back to where I foolishly said he couldn’t create his own shot, we let’s look at his stat line from Wednesday night, the last game before the All-Star break. Mr. Curry recorded seven 3’s, 10 rebounds, 13 assists 3 steals, and 36 points all while shoot 50 percent from the floor that night! That’s a triple-double that you see from the likes of LeBron James and it still makes you say, Wow! Not too shabby.
As a rookie he is averaging 14.8 points, 3.8 rebounds, and 4.9 assists. Those would be Rookie of the Year number if not for the fact that Tyreke Evans and Brandon Jennings are having even better years. The most impressive stat that pops out to me when I see the box score is not the points or the threes but rather the time he plays. Curry averages 34 and a half minutes per game. A lot of veteran starters don’t play that much.
Father Dell was a sniper and one of the best ever. He is still the all-time scoring leader for the Charlotte Hornets/Bobcats. He was the recipient of the 1994 NBA Sixth Man of the Year Award and ranks 28th all-time in three’s made. But if Stephen Curry keeps making progress he might make people start to say, Hey, that’s “Dell Curry, his son is Stephen Curry.”

-Stephen Jared House

The Game of Black Jack

Any of you fixers out there gamble?  I hope so.  If you don't, you should.  Whether you're placing money on the ball game or throwing your coins in a slot machine on a cruise liner, gambling is one of the most exhilarating feelings a man can get; the bigger you gamble and the more you win, the more exhilarating the feeling gets.  Myself, I'm a Texas Hold 'em player but I've come to find out that Texas Hold 'em is played best with your buddies in tournaments at the frat house or on the internet.  I've come to learn that the best game to play in a casino environment is Black Jack.  No other game can you win as much money as Black Jack.  As in Texas Hold 'em, you are not playing against the other players; in Black Jack you are playing against the house.  With this said, you can only win as much as the players have, then they're out.  In Black Jack, you can win as much money as the casino has, and that is millions.

My Grandfather self published a book and produced a video teaching the best way in that you can beat the casino at Black Jack.  Here he is with me explaining the game.




To learn more go to WWW.BEATEMATTHEIROWNGAME.COM where you can purchase the strategy so you can walk into a casino and have a great time winning.

Bringin' down the House

BRINGIN’ DOWN THE HOUSE

By: Stephen Jared House




ALLEN IVERSON AN ALL-STAR?




The debate is raging, and it’s my turn to weigh in on it. Now if you read regularly you know that I criticize Allen Iverson just as much and his most as his most loathed opponents, but I do really like the guy. Not only do I respect and like him as a person but also as pound-for-pound the best basketball player to ever step on the hardwood.
Iverson has put on some of the most capitivating offensive performances in the history of the Association. Two images of Allen Iverson I will never forget would be, stepping over Tryone Lue during Game 1 of the 2001 NBA Finals after sinking a fade-a-way three from the corner in front of the Laker bench. The Lakers not having lost a single game in the play offs looked to make a clean sweep to the Trophy but Iverson’s heavily under dogged 76er’s squad beat the Lakers in that first game. Although they only won that one game and lost the Finals that image will be scorched into my memory longer than any other from the series. The second would when Iverson was a rookie and crossed over His Airness, Michael Jordan his crossover dribble that is the nastiest that the game has ever seen.
Then there are the bad moments, like Iverson’s infamous press conference where he reiterated “Practice, Practice? Man we talking about practice, Practice!” (Granted I totally agreed with him on the issue.) Or last year in Detroit when he was clearly concerned about playing and was not going to come off the bench even though that’s what the team needed.
Now Iverson is getting pulverized in the media because the fans voted him in as a started in the All-Star Game. Let me remind all the basketball pundits out there, The NBA has the best All-Star game in all the four major sports. The NFL has to supplement half of the Pro Bowl roster with other players because the players elected do not want to play! The fans have total control of who they want to see in the game, and that’s why they watch it! Sorry Zach Randolph you are having a great season, but people would rather see A’mare Stoudemire than you. It’s all about the fans and that’s what David Stern sees and he will never tinker with that fomula.
Allen Iverson is done in the Association as a player of any consequence. His speed and quickness are corroding before our eyes, and it looks like he will never get that elusive championship. But Iverson will leave a huge footprint on the game of basketball. In the demographic of males ages 19-28 he will be remembered has one of the best players they saw from the time they started watching basketball. His cat-like reflexes and balletic drives down the lane will be shown on highlight reels for the rest of time.
So why not let him start this All-Star game? He is more than likely going to retire after this season. Let him go out with one last hurrah. Let him have the center stage, put him in the limelight one last time. One the biggest of stages the greatness in players is extrapolated. When All-Star Sunday is all said and done don’t be surprised when the largest award, the game MVP trophy is being held by the smallest man on the court.
Marie Antoinette was alleged to have said “Qu’’ils mangent de la brioche”(Let them eat cake”). When she heard that the people of France had no bread to eat. This year’s All-Star cry should be, “Let them have Iverson!”

I got something for ya

Taylor from I don't know where, KY.

THOSE THINGS LOOK LIKE WATERMELONS IN A HOT TUB!!

you could see her cleavage in a turtle neck

O Where Art Thou Daly Fixers??

Before one can criticize others, he must first look at his own self. I haven't come to the calling in terms of solid literature for all those Fixers out there and am disappointed in not only myself, but some of my colleagues. Luckily we've had some brilliant posts keep the interest going, but I'm not gonna lie, we need to get the website back to its height of greatness.

If there ever is nothing in the world to talk about (which in the cyber world is never) you can always bring up our Beloved Cats basketball whether good times or bad. I found it entirely comical looking back at posts from yesteryer, in the unforsaken times of the thankfully extinct Billy Clyde era. Days of losing to Gardner-Webb and VMI are oh so forgotten and luckily we have re-gained the throne of college basketball. Thank you Cal, Blue Jesus, Big Cuz, Pdpatt, and the rest of BIG BLUE NATION for putting Lexington back on the 'national' map.

In honor of the great start to the season ESPN has granted Kentucky with the gig of hosting college gameday on Saturday, February 13th. This event will not only be great for the fans of UK basketball, but for the crazies all across the world as neutral fans will understand what basketball in the bluegrass is all about. Those here at YDF would like to make the date special as well in promoting the website again by printing off some shirts for the occassion. Lookout for these custom design shirts the weekend of the Tennessee game. We'll be promoting all around Rupp Arena and the bars in between Gameday and tip-off.

GO CATS!

The Gleaner- Hendo Area News

The Gleaner- Margaret Francis Cotton of Evansville was arrested Friday afternoon and taken to the Vanderburgh County Jail. She was later released on $100 bond.
According to an Evansville Police Department affidavit, an undercover detective had several e-mail exchanges with her, and she agreed to meet him in a room at the Casino Aztar Hotel.
Before the meeting, the detective spoke to her on the telephone about what would take place there. The conversation was recorded.
Cotton allegedly let the detective into the room and asked him to place a "donation" under the telephone, according to the report. According to her web postings the officer said her rate was $120 an hour.

Folks, this is exactly why The Gleaner is the preferred local newspaper at The Fix. It's like the National Inquirer except everything is true and shit. Like would you really believe this if someone showed you this picture and told you that Marg Francis Cotton is a prostitute and she's charging big bucks to bang for an hour. Well believe it, because it's in The mother fuckin' Gleaner.

I think they are arresting the wrong person, though. Whoever is fucking this thing should be the person breaking the law here. You may call it dirty prostitution at its finest, but it's a clear cut case of Beastiality if you ask ol' Peckerino. You can't just shell out $120 to get your dick wet with Bigfoot and expect to get away with it. Either way, if I'm ordering a hooker at Aztar and this thing shows up, I'm pissing my pants and giving her every dollar I have just so she doesn't bite my face off and rip my dick to shreds.

Pants On The Ground.. Takin' Over The World BITCHES!

I've never watched American Idol past the first demos. Not really any reason to do so. Because the winners, outside of Carrie Underwood (soon to be Carrie Underwood Pecker), never do shit. Kelly Clarkson can kiss my dick for all I care, and Taylor Hicks?? Dude's probably doing side gigs at Metzger's Tavern in the slums of Hendo right now just to pay his highlighting bills. And Metzger's doesn't even have live entertainment, so good luck with that, you old, grey haired, non-singin' asshole. And I'm not even going to begin to get into Rueben Studdart and Adam 'not that there's anything wrong with that' Lambert.

But that's enough about the losers. I wanna talk about 'Pants On The Ground'. Get ready for your 15 minutes of fame, old black dude. This was obviously a publicity stunt by Idol, being that you can't be on the show if you are over the age of 28, but that's neither here nor there. But this won't be any normal fame, I'm talking Willie James Huff aka Funky Chicken and Balloon Boy type fame. So far today I've seen him talked about on 3 morning shows and facebook status' galore. So without further ado, congrats, old black dude, you will be pop icon for at least the next 3 1/2-4 weeks.

BOOM! That Just Happened!!!!!

Filly of the Week

Hello Hello folks, T-Bone's back and so are your favorite Fillies.  With an all new lineup this 2010 season, you guys will know all the right places to find those soft squeezy things in the great state of Kentucky.  Batting at #1 is an old favorite of mine from the very same place I was raised, Shelbyville, KY.  She's stacked like the best, Morgan.

And country.  How much fun would you be having if you went frog giggin' all night with this one?  Ribbit Ribbit.

She's just like one of the boys, she loves big trucks.

I'm not sure exactly what she was for halloween, but I know you fixers could give two shits less what she was actually was.

And she works at the Louisville Hooters.  I'll just leave you breathless with her calendar photos.

Supposedly this one got offered a couple thousand to do Playboy but she refused.  Pretty nice set of class on this.  Welcome back, now if The Pecker can give us some more of that heinous humor he's so good at coming up with we'll be back and rolling again.

Filly of the Week

Starting back on Thursdays

Shout out to Tyler Frey, better helping me become an expert on the above subjects.

Welcome Back, Kind Of.

Greetings, Earthlings. It's been awhile since I rode off into the KY sunset, and though I have had the urges to talk shit about people behind a blog name the past three weeks, I have decided to be responsible for a change due to reasons that I cannot explain at the moment. As you can see, none of the other Founding Fixers seemed to worry about losing our following and if some of you took it as a big, digitalized 'Fuck Off', I apologize... I'm...... I'm embarrassed.

Should be back on Monday, until then, if you have an iPhone and are familiar with the game 'Scrabble', download the free app called 'Words With Friends' and challenge me. I've grown quite fond of that game.

user name: Walter Sobchak

Mark it 8, dude.

Thirsty Thursdays- Melt Your Fucking Face Off.

This is why I'll never take a flaming Dr. Pepper, be in a circus, work as a fireman, or order Fire Sauce from Taco Bell. I don't want my god damn flesh burning off. Period. Have a good night. folks.

8 Days to Christmas

IPod/IPhone projector.  This thing's incredible.  Blows up to 40 inches.  Plug it up to your iphone and project the image on any flat white surface (Paris Hilton's ass)  I'd rather bone Nikki.

Buy it Here for $300

Remember The Morganfield/Jerry Springer Post?!?!

Click here to refresh your memory...

Well it appears that the Dog Warden of Union County Kentucky really does exist. Earlier in the week I told you that I was a dog lover so sign me the fuck up! How do I get this job? Are you born into it, do they vote you in, or is it like the Supreme Court and you can't get in until the present Dog Warden dies? I hope it's not the latter, because I will slice some throats if it gets me a seat in the Dog Warden throne!!! I need some answers here. Sounds like the most bad ass job someone could have in Union County actually.

VIVA LA DOG WARDEN!!!!!!


**Big ups to Nathan from the Hills and Hollers of Sturgis.

Filly of the Day (Pecker edition)

I hear El Peckerino is familiar with this Filly from Muhlenburg. Hope he doesn't delete it. Not too shabby, huh?

Leopard skin, Zebra skin, who gives a fuck.

It's final's week Fixers, T-Bone don't have much to say.

Websites That Make The Internet Pretty Sweet: People of 'The' Wal-Mart.

No morning post.. But will have a Thirsty Thursdays video, nonetheless.

I like this website a lot, but none of the stuff on it really surprises me. I've been going to 'The' Wal-Mart my whole life and have seen some outrageous shit that could trump whatever you see on the peopleofwalmart site. And I say 'The' Wal-Mart because that's what a lot of skanky people like to call it. Hey, I don't make the rules, I just dominate shit.

People of The Wal-Mart

Since it's getting close to the holidays I'll even throw in something extra. When you are home for Christmas and get tired of Bloody Mary's and A Christmas Story marathon, head to your local Wal-Mart and see if you can complete a Wal-Mart bingo card. If all else fails, buy a couple of shotguns, saw the barrel in half and see if you can get yourself into our Hard Rollers hall of fame.

Wal-Mart Bingo Card

Who Would You Rather Bone: Hilton Edition

-OR-

Nikki vs Paris. I'd love to spend one night in either one of their sausage slots but if I've got to choose one and I'm going with Nikki. Paris is a little too whorish, hence the commercial where she washes/dry humps a Bentley all while keeping a giant burger intact. If I've told ya once I've told you a million times, only whores do burger commercials for Hardee's. Plus she usually has really short hair, and girls with short hair kinda creep me out. Nikki. All day. No rub. Final answer.

Who ya got Fix?

Does This Chick Who Called A Married Couple 6 Times Demanding A Threesome Role Hard?

Waterbury- A Waterbury woman has been charged with repeatedly calling a local female resident to demand that she and her husband join her in a sexual "threesome."
Anna Bambino, 30, of Pierpont Road, Waterbury, was charged Friday with breach of peace.
She was released on a written promise to appear in court.
Bambino called the couple's home about a half-dozen times, police said. Bambino, who is acquainted with the Monroe woman through a mutual friend, in each of the calls suggested the woman and her husband have three-way sex with her, police said
After officers confronted Bambino, she confessed to making the calls, police said. However, she claimed to have been intoxicated at the time, according to the police report.

I'm gonna go ahead and throw some facts out there:

• Chick is a lesbian and not the kind you want to play hide the bologna with.
• Chick was drunk.
• Chick obviously knew and was attracted to this couple.
• This ain't her first rodeo.
• If you told me to draw a picture of a butch chick with the last name 'Bambino' on a blank piece of paper, the above picture is what would have been my final product. No doubt.

All of the above concocts a recipe for disaster/great story. Throw in some Mad Dog 20/20 and it is 100% guaranteed to become a shit show. When I worked at a liquor store back in college a guy used to come through every day and buy two bottles of MD2020 and would open it up before he even gave me the buck .05 he owed me for it. A couple of months later he drove by, got his MD was arrested in the back parking lot of our store for DUI and trying to pick up a prostitute. All because of a couple of sips of purple Mad Dog. Shit is lethal. I don't fuck with it because I do weird enough shit as it is, I don't need help.

Anyway... we all know what Mad Dog can do. That's not the scary part. The scary part is that thing that is drinking the Dog. Where the fuck did she come from? If I had to choose between getting in a bed and have rough sex with her or Rampage Jackson, I say bring on Rampage. No way I'm letting Anna Bambino or her trucker's hat get close to Captain Clown Dog (that's what I call mine). The picture alone gave me terrible nightmares.

With all the circumstances, it's hard to say if Ms. Bambino really rolls hard because Mad Dog had a lot to do with it. The fact that their was very little detail about the conversation she had with them doesn't do her any justice, either. But I bet it had something to do with an executioners mask, Sweet and Sour chicken, a spiked baseball bat and some fuzzy hand cuffs just to mix it up a little bit. Throw in the classic Hard Rolling paraphernalia of some sawed off shotguns and you have yourself a winner. But Anna is leaving the Fix with a HR rating of 4.

Come a little harder next time, bitch.

Websites That Make The Internet Pretty Sweet: Awkward Family Photos- 2 Sites!

This is a great website to waste some time on as they are putting up seasonal pictures just in time for the holidays.

Welcome to the fucking carnival.

Had enough? No? Stuff your jolly ass with this similar site.

9 Days to Christmas

We're in the single digits.  Today I got for you something that goes right with the time of the season and what should be outside, snow.  From the comfort of your own home you can ski down those white mountains you fixers dream of (not the ones that go through your dollar bills and up your nose, Frey).  I don't know too much about the logistics of this thing because the language on the website is unfamiliar to T Bone, but it looks like it comes with a hydraulic system and all sorts of weird mechanical devices that'll get you jacked up when you're going down the slopes of your TV.

Here's the website to buy it, good luck reading anything

A Guy Who Doesn't Really Look Like Tiger Woods... Is Tiger Woods.

I am Tiger Woods from TWoods

The only good thing that is going to come out of this whole Tiger scandal are funny videos. This is probably one of the biggest if not THE biggest scandals to ever come out of sports, he is/was the most dominant athlete that the world has ever seen, and though he put all of this on himself, we are all now succumbed to watch fat old white men golfing again like the pre-Tiger renaissance. No more outrageous chip shots with the crowd going wild and Tiger doing his signature fist pump and no more heroic major wins like the PGA Championship on a broken leg. I hope I'm wrong, but I believe this is the sad ending of the Tiger era and though he will come back, I just don't see him coming back as great as we knew him before the whores and Ambien bonin'. But who knows, I mean, he still is Tiger Woods.

Extra: Tiger is now being linked to a Canadian doctor who is well known for supplying Performance Enhancing Drugs to professional athletes. This may just be the tip of the proverbial iceberg for Eldrick. If Tiger would have spent a little more time in the 80's watching WWF like The Pecker instead of wasting his time practicing golf he would have known better than to fuck with the Canadians when this guy roaming around and bustin' heads.