BRUCE PEARL IS A TOOL BELT

What the fuck? Let me start by saying this, before this came out I would go as far as saying that I liked Bruce Pearl. I think he would be fun to play for, seems to connect with his kids well and for the most part is a good coach. I especially became a fan when he felt up Erin Andrews. That being said, this is the ultimate old white guy sin. Don't try to be something you're not, especially a rapper. It's the kiss of death when it comes to shoving yourself into douche bag territory. Bruce Pearl just dove head first into douchbaggerdom. If he was on the fence with you before, being between a cool hip guy or a complete and utter tool shed, well obviously he has hurtled the fence and has become the latter. Bruce, do yourself and everyone else a favor and stop trying to be the cool hip dad that gives their underage kids booze and shops at American Eagle. You aren't cool, you aren't "down". Just go back to having gay sex with Pat Summit and having a second rate program to not only the football team but the women's team as well. You might have sniffed success in the recent past but I can't wait for the new and improved cats to drop another bomb on them next year. The Vol's ass still has to be hurting from that jailhouse shower job Jodie Meeks put on them when dropping 54 in their house. If I were coach Caliparty I would definitely show this to my kids before the game next year. I know there is nothing else that would get me more fired up to beat someones ass other than this.

BOOM ROASTED!