Thanks for nothing weather channel...

I'm sure most people today were thrilled at the news of getting out of class. That is, unless you had it between the hours of 11 and 3. What am I saying... look who I'm writing to. So, with your blunts in hand, and bets ready to be placed on the UK game (WHAT THE FUCK btw), a good number of you might have had the pleasure of missing out on some of the most inconsiderate, some of the most turrable, some of the most outrageously embarrassing displays of driving i've seen. Now, you might be asking yourself, "Doesn't webb just sleep all day since he has no job, no girlfriend, and no conceivable reason for waking up in the morning? Why was he even up before 9 today?"
Trust me, guys, these questions are valid. But today was different. Today, I took the bull by the horns and put myself out there. Its a metaphor.
I watched Bill Meck this morning and believed him when he told me that people might be in a hurry on the way to work this morning due to the conditions. And I should have expected what I encountered on the way to my first interview in months (due to my increasing responsibilities as associate beverage engineer at everyone's second favorite bar). I witnessed about 9-10 fender benders, more cars on the side of the road than roaches in the garage, and more hapless driving habits than shots purchased by fat and tripp COMBINED... in one night,... and at the same place (while everyone still benefits from this...). Idiots have been spotted video taping themselves driving down the road, driving 45 while every other sane brain is doing 20 and shamelessly cutting off other cars who might happen to be smaller and more 4-cylinderish.
Even with this pro-weather bias being portrayed by many meteorologists, many people on the roads clearly do not adhere to their warnings. They are obviously obsessed with the weather and know exactly what to expect from crazed drivers when they see raindrops freezing to the roads.
Don't be tards. pay attention to the road, friends- not the weather channel. this storm will pass soon. even if the weather channel has nothing else to talk about, they're there when we need their services most... ice storm season.