Does this Crackhead Henry Clay High School Teacher Roll Hard?

Now that the Founding Fixers have sobered up from a 3 month binge and started dominating shit again, El Peckerino has had some great ideas flowing in in my scientist-like mind, and today I am starting a new segment called 'Do They Roll Hard'. you may be asking, 'Pecker, what does it take to be a hard roller?' Well my friends, that will be for you to judge. I consider myself a hard roller, along with the likes of OJ Simpson, Billy Gillespie, Plaxico Burress, and the Godfather of rolling hard, Ricky P himself. So without further ado, I bring you the first episode of 'Do They Roll Hard?'

The Herald Leader- Lexington, KY- An English teacher at Henry Clay High School was arrested Friday morning by Lexington police on drug and alcohol charges, and she was later charged with child endangerment after she told jail officials that she had left her toddler home alone.

According to Fayette District Court documents, Erica Shannon Cooper, 38, was arrested shortly after 4 a.m. Friday near a "known crack house" on North Upper Street. She was charged with endangering the welfare of a minor, possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and public intoxication.
According to reports filed in district court, police noticed a black 2001 Nissan Maxima early Friday morning at Fourth and Chestnut streets in a "high drug-sales area." The car sped away when a police cruiser approached.
Police said officers spotted the Nissan a few minutes later near the reported crack house on North Upper. Police said Cooper and a second defendant, James D. Montgomery, 39, were in the front seat.
In a citation filed with the court, officers described Cooper as "manifestly under the influence," with slurred speech, a strong smell of alcohol and acting "very belligerent and combative."
Officers said there was another man in the car, Rodney M. Johnson, who is described in the report as a known "tour guide." Johnson told police that the two front-seat occupants were "trying to purchase cocaine with his assistance."
Montgomery was charged with loitering. Johnson was being held for contempt of court.
According to the report, Cooper admitted that she and Montgomery were "trying to do something we shouldn't."
Read rest of story here..

The Pecker couldn't sleep last night for some reason or another. When I finally got out of bed this morning, I walked outside to get some coffee only to be caught in a torrential downpour in the mean streets of NYC. When I arrived back to my apartment from Dunkin' Donuts I sat down to enjoy today's headlines in all of my go-to newspaper websites. Hendo continues to dominate western Kentucky in football, Cats trying to avoid an upset tonight.... yadda yadda yadda. Then, like it was sent from heaven, this gem of a fuckin' story plops into my lap.

Fixers, you have NO IDEA how much this explains to me. During my tenure of snappin' necks and cashin' checks at WKU, I came across a lot of Henry Clay High School products. I've never claimed to be the smartest man this side of the Mississippi or anything, but these kids are fucking retards. No wonder! their teachers are coke heads hanging out in the sketchiest parts of Lextown! You can't learn Billy Shakespeare or how to fix a sentence fragment when Ms. Cooper is leaving class every 10 minutes to do some blow in the teachers lounge. I always knew there was something not quite right about those HC kids and also wondered what they were doing at WKU in the first place, well god damnit folks, when your senior class has a cumulative score of 3 on the English section of the ACT you don't have a snowballs chance in Hell at getting into a school of your choice. But you can't blame the kids when their teacher is too busy blowing some dude for an 8 ball at the local crack house instead of grading papers.

I'm sure Ms. Cooper couldn't be happier now though. Get out on bail, doesn't have to go to work for awhile and she is still getting paid by the school system so she can sit at home and watch Judge Judy all while doing some Colombian Bam Bam off her baby's forehead. That's America!

Anyway, lets dissect this article.

• This chick has a kid at home while she is out doing shit at 4am that would make Lindsay Lohan blush.
• She is smoking pot, buying coke and reeks of booze and probably cigs too.
• She was smoking the reefer out of a coke can, so she was obviously rollin' hard in college, also.
• She was described as being 'combative'. Tell me that doesn't sounds hard as fuck!

Only problem I have with crackhead teacher's story is there were no weapons involved. Throw a sawed-off shotgun or even some brass knuckles and this chick deserves a 10! But, instead Pecker is going to give her an 8.5!

In the comment section please feel free to let me know if I missed anything and also don't be afraid to tell me how hard you think this bitch rolls on a scale from 1-10.

**Think you know someone who 'Rolls Hard', send the article to thepecker.fix@gmail.com and see what The Pecker thinks about it.