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Monday, February 9, 2009

A-Roid??? Stray-Rod???

Mr. Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez, 

I'm not mad at you for using performing enhancing drugs, I'm really not.  Then again they did severely shrink your balls and ruin our sex life!  I knew all along you cheated to become one of the greatest sluggers of your era;  but I obviously can't complain about that, you're the reason I'm set for life.  I even knew you were sleeping around with that whorish stripper.  That didn't really matter all too much though, it gave me plenty of time to sleep with a real man.  What I'm most mad about is the fact you're a bold face liar (see below).  

Your very hot ex-wife,

"Have you ever used steroids, human growth hormones, or any other performing enhancing substance?"
"NO"
Have you ever been tempted to use any of those things?"
"NO"
A-Rod wasn't fazed to lie in front of millions on CBS, so it shouldn't have been a surprise in lying to his own wife.
"Were you sleeping around with an ugly ass, floozy stripper up in Toronto?"
"NO"
"Did you honestly just say "loosy, goosy" when talking with Peter Gammons on ESPN?"
"NO"

Keep up the good work A-Rod.  Sorry to break it ta ya, but you actually don't have millions of fans everywhere to apologize to like you assume.  You screwed up a marriage with a very good looking wife and two kids.  You came to the Yankees and found a way to destroy one of the greatest lineups to ever grace the field.  
0 AL pennants, 0 World championships = 1 absolute bum!

-THE TURK

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