How did I get here???

There are numerous socioeconomic indicators that are held in high prestige to describe/differentiate the population masses of mother Earth. Some of the more popular and obvious are Education, Income, Crime and Quality of Life but those however are very intangible. One may think that you could give a glance at the real estate or automobiles of said surroundings and receive an accurate accord of the current social schema but after witnessing the the clusterfuck that is the current economic meltdown and some of the contributing factors it's very feasible that any broke, uneducated douchebag could own a ginormous house and drive a Bentley. See MC Hammer, Antoine Walker and Mortgage Brokers. So today what I have for you is a fool-proof, tangible and tasty way to demographically decipher your locale of choice. Ladies and gentleman without further ado I welcome the "Aparagas Scale"... In theory you can use the retail monetary value of asparagus as a accurate socioeconomic litmus test. According to the UDSA the average retail price of Asparagus is $2.75 and will hold as true to the working/middle class as Rosanne Arnold and the Cul-De-Sac. So when you see $2.65 asparagus at your local grocery store know that the shoppers around you probably have a combined household income of $65k, drive either a minivan, station wagon or truck, have tried the Atkins or South Beach diet, have been or either will be divorced, may or may not have finished junior college, shop at JcPenneys or Sears and root for Ohio State or the Pittsburgh Steelers. With that being said any deviation above $2.65 on the scale shall trend positive in sectors of Education, Health, Income, Crime and Quality of Life. This is vice versa for the adverse side of $2.65. So now that you've taken a looked at the picture from my neck of the woods (posted above)you've probaly come to two conclusions... #1. There probably aren't any Starbucks or Hummer Dealerships near by. #2. "Sparragas"...Really???

My comments ...

#1. Does the Pope shit in the woods?
#2. Spellcheck ceases to exist in "the Mission"... Even Bill Gates hasn't figured that shit out!

CLJ