SEATTLE — Seattle police say a man who thought he was a ninja was impaled on a metal fence when he tried to leap over it.
An officer who was looking for an assault victim nearby Monday night heard the man screaming for help.
Police supported him to prevent further injuries until medics arrived and took him to a hospital, where he was in serious condition in intensive care on Tuesday.
Police spokeswoman Renee Witt wrote in a department Web site posting that officers thought the man might have been involved in the reported assault, but he insisted he was just a ninja trying to clear a 4- to 5-foot-tall fence.
Witt says the man was "overconfident in his abilities," and that alcohol likely played a role.
His name was not released.
These cops are stupid as shit. They really believe this story? I mean come on, the guy obviously wasn't a fucking ninja. First of all ninjas do not scream under any circumstances. Also, when was the last time you ever saw a ninja not be able to clear a fence or burning building over 4 ft tall? That's right, you haven't!
I studied ninjas for quite some time and here are 4 fun facts that I learned:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
4. A ninja shall never scream. EVER. (it gives away they're location)
They need to track down this so-called ninja and ask some more questions, cause there is definitely something fishy going on. I had a buddy in college impale himself through his armpit after jumping a fence trying to get out of the pool area of our apartment complex because he wasn't supposed to be in there during after-hours, he wasn't a ninja and never claimed to be. He was doing something illegal and so was this guy. Fess up you ninja-wannabe-motherfucker.
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